A TRAVELER WRITES: Random, half-asleep thoughts at the airport at 4 a.m.: What if the rumored new animated Jetsons movie was set in 2015 instead of 2062?
George Jetson would have to go through security every day before getting in his car, eventually causing him to kill a slow moving TSA agent in his Skypad Apartments garage. His boy, Elroy, would take the fall.
Apple would introduce Rosie the Robot as the first iMaid and begin selling apps for “Window Cleaning,” “Bathroom Scrubbing,” “Zombies vs. Republicans” and “Bring Me a Moscow Mule” at only $1.99 each.
For an extra $29.99, Otter Box would sell you a waterproof, shock-resistant “Kelli Rippa Appearance” case.
The optional “Kelli Rippa Mute Button” would cost $1,350.
Treadmills would only be sold at PetCo.
Henry, the janitor, would become famous for his work with Keurig to invent “Viagra K-Cups” for seniors who only want single servings. Comes in decaf.
The Way-Outs would record “Happy” (instead of Ferrell). And we’d still hate it.
Mr. Spacely would be interrogated for deflating his company’s Sprocket footballs. New Ball Boy Elroy would take the fall.
Judy Jetson would sue the NFL, demanding that the NY Jets stop using the family name and logo because it demeans the family. Woody Johnson would cave and change the name to the Redskins.
Astro would run for President as the Underdog Party candidate. His cousin, Scooby Doo, would write the campaign slogan: “If you rike Ristie or Rillary – – Rut-Roh!” Astro would have to drop out of the race after calling Sarah Palin a “RILF.”
The New Jersey DOT would close off sky lanes to repair the ozone, leading to “Cloudgate.”
Jane Jetson would tell Ellen that Bill Cogswell (of Cogswell Cogs) made advances on her when they were filming “The Jetsons meet Fat Albert.” Cogswell, as a result, is forced to sell the L.A. Clippers, who still haven’t won an NBA title.
The Orbit High School newspaper would uncover a story that claims that, before becoming the standard wireless connection, Bluetooth was one of Soupy Sales’ Fight Dogs. Michael Vick denies any connection. New Dog Trainer Elroy takes the fall.
Ooh, look: The airport coffee shop is finally open. Jane, stop this crazy thing!
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